“Cheating In Head” Now Grounds For Divorce In Arizona

PHOENIX, Arizona –

City World News reported today a Phoenix man lost full custody of his kids and over half his assets after an Arizona court ruled he had committed infidelity “in his head.” The ruling by Judge Gastin sets a strange new legal precedent that now states “cheating in one’s head” is considered a form of infidelity and grounds for divorce. Mr. Jack Thomspon will also be required to pay alimony of $10,000 per month (even though he makes far less money) to his wife indefinitely unless she remarries.


How did this all happen?

On August 3rd, 2014, Jane Thompson caught her husband staring at another woman as they strolled through a Phoenix mall. At first he denied looking at the woman after being confronted by his wife, but later admitted that he had been looking. Mrs. Thompson asked what he was thinking as he checked her out. Jack said nothing, but after she pressed further, he admitted that he had visualized having intercourse with the woman against a wall while cupping her breasts and kissing her neck.

After this steamy admission, Jack was relegated to the couch while Jane Thompson continued to sleep in the couple’s bed. Jane filed for divorce a month later citing infidelity.

Mrs. Thompson’s lawyer addressed media:

“This is a great day for the institution of marriage. Let this be a warming to others that if you commit infidelity in your head, Arizona divorce courts will come down on you harshly.”

Mr. Thompson’s lawyer said, “I guess you better not admit to sexual fantasies with other partners if you are married in Arizona. My next questions: will sexual dreams, wet or dry, be considered grounds for divorce in the future? My advice to Arizonians after this ridiculous ruling is keep your sexual fantasies to yourself or try not to have impure thoughts at all.”

Judge Gastin has not released a statement at this time.

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